HELP! My imaginary wife killed my imaginary mistress!?

OMG OMG OMG I invited my imaginary mistress (Joane) over for wine since my imaginary wife (Alicia) was away for a business trip in Africa. After drinking our third glass of wine my imaginary wife suddenly came home and saw Joane and I smooching on the couch and she took out her imaginary kitchen knife and started stabbing Alicia in her abdomen! Oh the horror! She then went to the bathroom to take a dump while I took the chance to escape, taking the murder weapon with me to the nearest police station. I told a black policeman what had happened and he told me to shove the imaginary knife up my ***. Is he crazy? Why would anyone do that? Besides it's disgusting and unhygienic. He has mental issues and should see a shrink don't you think?